You are walking all right. You will realize your real swarupa. Still you have to walk a lot. Every step should be taken cautiously.
Practise the sadhanas necessary for pratyahara. Side by side concentrate on your ishta devata. The Lord will manifest his spiritual being during your meditation and bless you with darshan, divine experience and jnana. Japa will lead your psyche to the plane of astral consciousness; and concentration itself will culminate into meditation.
Meditation will open the doors of power for thee. Hence you must do japa, concentration and meditation with absolute one-pointedness. Tune thy mind. Create receptivity. If only you have tuned your radio, you will be given the knowledge during your meditation.
Concentrate on the form until your mental tendencies have become focused and all other thoughts have ceased. It is only then that guru and disciple can commune with each other in the plane of spiritual consciousness.
So long as there are various conflicts and imaginary complexes in your personality, you will be missing your guru in meditation. No sooner have your mental activities merged into a single spiritual awareness or sumiran than you can materialize your guru consciousness and commune.
You don’t see me because of defective sense-vision. No sooner have you transcended the body consciousness than you can certainly contact me within the psychic plane. You will develop this art of inner communion within a short period, provided you are sincere and regular in your yoga sadhana.
You have been already initiated. You have a guru. There is no doubt about your success.
You should not even imagine renouncing home because of certain responsibilities which you yourself have imagined. Religion which is born of failures and shirking of responsibilities will not carry you further any more. You have felt certain responsibilities heavily. You have certain emotions unfulfilled. So you feel like getting out of the net. Will you listen to me and change your present attitude towards this world? Instead of brooding over this world, better saturate your being in his love. If you have faith in guru, you must face this world so long as he wants. Remain in the society, earn money, run hither and thither and meditate twice a day.
I am your guru, your marga bandhu. Remember thy spiritual mantra. Do not lose sight of thy road. You need not renounce; you need not roam. My blessings are always with you. Try to experience and follow them.
Why don’t you do japa at night also? Japa is a positive method of ‘mental silence’. Give up the habit of merely sitting or lying quiet. One can’t do it because the inner mind is always active, except when one meditates or does japa. Sit outside in the open by all means. But don’t dream please. That will undo your achievements. Close your eyes; sing his names; and then do japa. You can do it inside the room also. There will be less disturbance. Anyway, learn the real art of sitting quiet.
Let me congratulate you on your poem of devotion, which I have just received. The real and most obstinate poem is the form, which you will have to compose and manifest. Meditation is the sweetest poem. When the psychic night dawns and that silence prevails, unfold thy inner poetry, thy soul, yes, that form! Can you?
When will the form become clearer? Shall I tell you? It is only after your mind has finally selected a single form. At present your mind is wandering amidst various forms and postures. It has not yet merged in a single form. There is still a lot of disturbance in the Mansarovar.
One sadhana more. ‘Fearlessness’. How to become fearless? Never indulge in such talks, never do such acts and never keep such things which you have to hide from others. In the beginning you may find it a bit difficult; but by and by everything will become possible. Secret talks, secret letters, secret relations, secret affairs, all these give birth and strength to a fear complex.
Fear breaks the organized pattern of mind which was formed in meditation. Fear weakens the willpower. So long as you carry on with such works which you want to hide from others, you have to be afraid. So long as fear exists in you, your willpower will not function and bear fine fruits. Therefore, you should speak such things, do such acts, talk with such persons and have such correspondence which you would not feel like hiding from others. This is a sure aid to success in spiritual life.
You will have to mould your life also side by side with meditation. Are there conflicts still in your mind? Either say you haven’t any, or else express where the shoe bites. What lurks in thee as a conflict? What is that which you are lacking in life and which upsets you off and on? I stand by your side under all odd moments.
I know your troubles. But by telling them yourself, you will only relax your mental constipation and hypertension. At the back the thief hides. In the forefront you don’t see it. Tell thy troubles to him, although he already knows all; for by saying them yourself you will become lighter and free. Understand this psychological truth. Don’t deceive your own self by addressing your guru, “You already know”. It is an erroneous and self-deceptive expression. Whether I know or not, how are you concerned? You have to purge out what lurks in your mind. God knows all; yet we speak out our minds unto him just to express ourselves and lay down the mental burden before him.
I assure you that I will protect you and accept your mental burden. You just speak out your mind to me liberally, even if you have to write a hundred pages per day. I will never consider that as silly and rubbish. Well, even if that be silly and rubbish, better it comes out sooner. Be that rubbish or sensible, silly or good, it must be thrown out of the mind. Vacate all psychic compartments of this filth of fermented and suppressed vasanas. Then also shall that be refilled with divine grace.
I want you to speak out your mind, purge all the rubbish and get rid of the mental constipation. Hurry up and evacuate the mind in toto. I will never misunderstand your bhava, your purging and your emotions. I am your mother. I won’t mind at all even if you abuse me. I know that would do you immense good.
Letters to Vishwaprem, first published in Steps to Yoga