Sharing the Same Goal

Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati

If you want a relationship to succeed in life, you have to look at one thing: do both partners share the same goal in life? Swami Vivekananda used to say, that if somebody wants to live in the South Pole and somebody wants to live on the Equator, there is going to be a problem.

Generally you tend to superimpose your expectations and ambitions on the other person, and a split happens - initially there was love, now there is hatred, anger, frustration. Initially there were high expectations, now the expectations cannot be fulfilled any more. This could be a reason why so many people are disappointed in their relationships with each other and with their partners.

It is necessary to look at the goal shared by both. If the goal is the same, then even if you are one hundred or one thousand miles apart, you will still feel close together. That closeness is supporting the activity of each other; it is uplifting the internal structure of each partner, and that is important.

I remember a saying: If you want to know me, do not look at what I eat, how I dress, what I look like, how I sleep, how I talk, because that is not me. If you want to know who I am, then ask me, “What was your goal in life? What have you done to attain that goal in life? And what restricted you in attaining that goal in life?”

I like this saying. For me it covers relationships, personal and individual creativity as well as direction in life. If you and your partner and you and your guru can share the same goal in life, you will be the happiest persons on this planet.