Duality is Joy

From Satsangs on Ramacharitamanas, Swami Satyananda Saraswati

When I look back on all that I have achieved, I am amazed. How could an ordinary person like me, a man with limited knowledge, means and intellect, do and say all this? Only through Divine Will. God's Will is operating.

Through this process of realization, when the ego begins to diminish, you may not see God, but you certainly begin to perceive the Divine Will. Once you see the Divine Will, then you know that you have come slightly closer to God. The distance remains, but it will diminish by and by, kilometre by kilometre. One day the gap will close and you will merge with God. However, I do not want to become one with God. I want to continue to see Him and want Him to continue to see me. Once I merge into God it will not be so enjoyable. The enjoyment is in dvaita, duality. When you are separate from God, you enjoy it. But when you meet with Him, when you merge in Him, where is the bliss? The main thread of bhakti yoga is the difference between God and man. Therefore, I do not say that I am God, although this is written in the Upanishads. Sometime, maybe, I may have that experience also.

I cannot say, because it is not in my hands, but I do not have the experience that I am God.