High on Waves

Swami Vivekananda, April 18, 1900 just prior to his death

I am well, very well mentally.
I feel the soul more than the body.
The battles are lost and won.
I have bundled my things
and am waiting for the Great Deliverance.
Siva, Oh Siva, carry my boat to the other shore.
After all, I am only the boy
who used to listen with rapt wonderment
to the wonderful words of Ramakrishna,
under the banyan tree in Dakshineshwar.
That is my true nature -
works and activities, doing good and so forth,
are all super impositions.
Now I hear his voice again,
the same old voice thrilling my soul.
Bonds are breaking, love dying, work becoming
The glamour of life is gone.
Now only the voice of the master is calling,
'Let the dead bury the dead. Follow thou me.'
I come, my beloved Lord, I come.
Yes, I come, nirvana is before me.
I feel it at times, the same infinite ocean
of peace, without a ripple, a breath.
I am glad I was born, glad I suffered so,
glad I made big blunders, glad to enter peace.
I leave none bound, I take no bonds. Whether this body will fall and release me
or I will enter freedom in this body.
The old man is gone,
gone forever, never to come back again.
The guide, the guru, the teacher has passed away;
the boy, the student, the servant is left behind.
The sweetest moments of my life have been when I was drifting. I am drifting again With the bright warm sun ahead and masses of vegetation around.
In the heart everything is so still, so calm I dare not make a splash with my hands or feet for fear of breaking the wonderful stillness that makes you sure it is an illusion-
Behind my work there used to be ambition,
behind my love was personality.
behind my purity was fear,
behind my guidance, the thirst for power.
Now they are vanishing, and I drift.
I come. Mother, I come, in Thy warm bosom, floating where-so-ever Thou takest me-in the voiceless, in the strange, in the wonderland, I come, a spectator, no more an actor.