The Pit of Worry

Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati

Parents worry about their small children, their teenagers and their adult children who have become parents themselves and maybe grandparents.

Worry is something that is in human genes. When you are born, you are born because of the transfer of genes. In the same manner worry is also transferred in the genes, for worry is the outcome of unfulfilled desire. Worry is the outcome of unfulfilled expectation. Worry is the outcome of unfulfilled action. Therefore, it is natural to worry, for worry is the outcome of attachment.

In the family, it is the attachment which is our bonding. If there is no attachment in the family nobody will care for the other family member. When you are not attached to your neighbour, you are not concerned with what happens in his house. If your son has a house and he is your neighbour then whatever happens in his house will always concern you, for you are seeking the happiness of somebody who is your own. Therefore, worry is common.

Don't transfer

There is another aspect. Worrying is not bad, but imposing your fears on other people is bad, for it limits their self-esteem and restricts their creativity. Therefore, if you are worried, remain worried, do not transfer your worry to the other person. The moment you transfer your worry to another person and you talk about it to the other person, you are dragging that person down from a state of confidence and happiness to your state of worry and anxiety. That state of worry and anxiety is much lower than the state of confidence and happiness.

When you are worried you are in the pits. Why do you want to drag somebody who is enjoying his life into the depth of your pit of anxiety and frustration? Rather you should take inspiration from that happiness and say to yourself, "I am worried now, but I should make the effort to become joyful and happy and to gain my peace of mind again."

Make the right choice

Just as you avoid a snake on the road for the fear of being bitten, you should avoid worries in life for they will always restrict your creative growth. The understanding should be, "Fair enough, I am worried, but there are also solutions. I have to find the right solution and for that my choice has to be correct."

One of the main reasons for frustration in life is that people identify with their worries and are unable to find solutions. This is an incorrect idea. My guru, Sri Swami Satyananda, told me a sentence which has inspired me all my life: "There are no simple solutions in life, only intelligent choices."

Therefore, say to yourself, "This is possible, this is possible, this is possible, this is possible. Out of these four methods this one is more appropriate for me and that has to be my choice." Discover what choices you have and do not worry about the solution which you are never going to find. When you are looking for a solution you are thinking along one track, however if there are four roads, you can always choose one and bypass the others. The ability to make the right choice should be developed with wisdom, understanding, compassion and love.

This should be everyone's effort, for today you are children, and tomorrow you will be parents and the day after tomorrow you will be grandparents. That continuity will always be maintained, yet you should not maintain the continuity of worry.

In a negative environment, there is no solution and no correct choice. To maintain the continuity of discovering the choices in life, the thoughts and ideas in the family have to be clear and positive.

—20 September 2014, Tyagaraj Sports Stadium, Delhi, India