Letter from an Aspirant

Sanjay Chhabra (Bangalore)

A year ago I had a very vivid dream of Swami Satyananda. He was sitting on a mat and there were several people around him. I was passing the area where he was sitting and he motioned me to come to him. As I came to sit near his feet, he raised his feet to my forehead. I sat with his feet on my forehead for some time. Then he said to me – “Yes I know your head hurts right now, but it will become okay.” He then gave me a piece of paper on which the number 49 and ‘jivatma’ were written. He then said – “Pray to Goddess Lakshmi.”

Usually I do not remember dreams, but this was so vivid and cryptic that I was confused. At that time, coincidentally, I was reading the book, Vijnana Bhairava Tantra by Swami Satsangi, which had been given to me by my teacher, Sannyasi Vishalakshi. It then occurred to me that 49 could refer to sloka 49 in the book, but I had not started reading yet. I referred to it, and sure enough sloka 49 talks about japa of a mantra while focusing on the lotus in the heart centre as it is the seat of the jivatma. Imagine my joy at this!

I wrote to Swami Satsangi about my experience and in her reply she said that the fascinating part of Sri Vijnana Bhairava Tantra is that it guides the aspirant through dreams, and that she herself had several fantastic experiences while writing the book. She also said that sadhana without a guru was like a flower without fragrance, and that to intensify my practices further, I should seek guidance from a guru.

I feel truly grateful for the divine grace that has come into my life.